Why Do You Date?

So, I'm a "Bachelor" junkie.I was disgusted by the Jason-Melissa-Molly situation (You would have thought Melissa was my best friend! Although I do hope Jason and Molly true bliss), I was horrified by Jake picking Vienna and wasn't surprised at their very public break up. Ali and Roberto are cute, and I hope they are the next Trista and Ryan.  To be honest, I've been planning to quit the show for years, and there have been seasons that I've skipped out of it. But somehow I've continued to watch all seasons from Jason up to this current one with Brad.

Personally, I think "The Bachelor" is absolutely ridiculous (maybe that's why I am so addicted). While I think that you can be pretty sure about wanting to spend your life with someone after like 6 weeks, I've always found the engagement thing a bit extreme. Especially with the fact that there's 25 to 30 women (or men) clouding your judgement.

I've never understood how people can date multiple people at once. I don't knock people who do it. I just don't understand how they do it. My emotions get wrapped up into people so easily, it'd be torture to have them torn between multiple people. How do you honestly make a choice?

Even if it wasn't confusing, somehow I also just don't think that's how God intended it to be.

Now, I'll be honest. I wasn't necessarily the "good girl" when it came to dating. I had my first serious boyfriend when I was 15 (although there was this one guy when I was like 12). Totally wasn't supposed to date, but yeah... everyone else was, so why shouldn't I, right? Although, I will say that I took all my relationships very seriously (or as seriously as you can at that age). I've always seen dating relationships as having one purpose... leading to marriage. I can promise I'm not one of those psychos who expect the guy to propose after Day 1, BUT... if I can't picture a life with you, why am I dating you? But then, I totally wasn't going to get married at 16, so why was I dating?

While I've learned a lot and grown as a person because of those relationships (the good, the bad, and the very bad), I really wish I waited and figured out what I truly wanted first. And I wish I waited and focused a lot more on my relationship with God more than the relationship with the guy. Because while I may have my list of "wants," ultimately I'd rather be single than be with a guy that God hasn't ordained me to be with. You know?

I'm single now and I'm surrounded by friends who are on the verge of getting engaged, planning their weddings, or popping out a nice little brood. And while I do long for all that one day, I'm full of so much joy for them and have been able to witness God working in their lives and stuff, that I can wait. I can wait for God, in His time and if it's His will, to work all that out in my life too.

A poet friend of mine wrote something recently that really spoke to me. It's called "More Than She is Mine." To read the full thing, click on the link, but here's the first and last verse:

I want a woman that is fine
More than the physical
She seeks a love that’s divine
Her spirit is strong and
Her nature is kind
But I want a woman thats Your’s
More than she is mine
Who knows one day
My path may cross by
A woman with a heart of God
And a spirit that flies
She may notice me
And think deep inside
“I want him to be Your’s
More than he’ll be mine”

Can I get an "Amen"?

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  1. Amen!
    I'm almost 30 and I still don't now how to date multiple guys. And I'm not interested in learning how to either. That is a lovely poem from someone who understands the purpose of marriage and the importance of God in it.

  2. I don't even know how to go on casual dates with guys. I'm like, "you're a stranger! I don't know you!" Haha.