Faith, Hope, and Love

At the beginning of 2015, I tried something new. I had given up resolutions many years before, and decided to try picking a word for the year instead . My word was intentional . It felt like a good word. I wanted to be more intentional about my career, and so in 2015 I pursued different opportunities to get back into writing and the editorial world. I wanted to be more intentional about my creative hobbies, like writing and photography, and so I looked at a lot of different class options and made some new contacts. I wanted to be more intentional about my relationships--mostly friendships, but also in the romance category. And so I said "yes" to things I was tempted to say "no" to, and signed up for things at church and beyond in order to get involved and meet more people. I wanted to be more intentional about my health, and did a barre class once a week for a while. And drank more water, and ate healthy in general. I wanted to be more intentional at ...

So I've been doing a great job keeping up with the IF:Gathering's devotional through Acts. It's been great being able to read through other women's comments and see what God is revealing through them in the Scriptures. Today's passage really got be thinking as I prepare for India . No one is too far gone to be redeemed by Christ. And not that these girls have done anything that makes them unworthy of redemption, but I think about their moms, the people who work and build the Red Light District, the families that shun and push them out... even they are capable of being redeemed. I think about a brothel owner who turns to Christ, shuts down her brothel and makes it a house a prayer to welcome and serve the women in The District. I think about pastors with tattoos and piercings, women who have been in prison... Their story doesn't discount them. In fact, perhaps their history and their past makes them an even stronger witness of the gospel. Anyway... just so...

As I mentioned in my last post , I'm going to India this summer! This is the first overseas mission trip I've taken (I did go to Mexico sometime in college, so I suppose you can say its my second) and I'm excited, but also know that it's going to be work! I've been praying non-stop, as has the whole team that's going, and I know people at church have been praying. If you're a praying person (or even if you're not), I'd love to have your support through prayer too. As I said before, prayers is what I covet the most. Below are some of the main prayer points (and verses to help guide your prayers). PREPARATION: Please pray that God would prepare the eight of us who are going for the journey ahead. "The Lord replied, 'My presence will go with you, and I will give you rest." Then Moses said to him, "If your Presence doesn't go with us, do not send us up from here." -- Exodus 33:14-15 UNITY: For the team and the nati...

When I look in the mirror, what do I see? To what do I attribute my identity? To get ready for my upcoming mission trip to India, we've been asked to "tell our story," and I'm struggling a lot with that. While I know  that being a Christian allows me to walk in grace, to leave behind shame and guilt and to see myself in all the beauty that God seems me (Easter was/is a good reminder of all that)... I don't always feel  that way and struggle to really embrace His truth about who I am. Instead, I think of all the labels I wear--daughter, sister, teacher, writer, friend, ex-girlfriend, Miss (versus Mrs.)--and I see a lot of failure. Failure as a daughter when I think of my years of rebellion and disobedience, when I don't call enough, or feel known by my parents (or even really know them). Failure as a sister because of all the years we lost being the closest friends we could be, and how I often take my siblings for granted. Failure as a teacher when I ...

3 ...We also celebrate in seasons of suffering because we know that when we suffer we develop endurance, 4 which shapes our characters. When our characters are refined, we learn what it means to hope and anticipate God’s goodness . 5 And hope will never fail to satisfy our deepest need because the Holy Spirit that was given to us has flooded our hearts with God’s love. Romans 5:3-5 ( The Voice )    

Exactly six months ago, I lost my job. And can I just say these last six months have been... trying. It really has felt like an uphill climb to nowhere. I got denied unemployment, I got a part-time job I ended up seriously disliking, I got another part-time job that I loved, but still can't really pay my own bills and therefore have to rely on familial support (which is just annoying. I mean, I'm thankful, but dude, I thought I was an adult now!). But today, I've decided, will be my hump day. Not only is it Wednesday, but it's also exactly half a year, and I feel like the next six months are going to be an easy ride downhill. I'm at the top of the hill and I can't wait to take the wild ride down. Leading up to today, I've been a bit grumpy. All the bitterness and anger that had been brewing in me when everything first went down seemed to re-appear out of no where. I thought I had made peace with the situation, but apparently not. It's like I was go...

I got a call about a technical writing position!!! I missed the lady's call, and then she was out of the office by the time I called back, but I am PRAYING that this turns into a real opportunity for me! It almost seems cruel to get a call and then it not pan out. Especially since I've been waiting for long for something, anything! I've also applied to a lot of tutoring and teaching-type jobs... and I'm considering of doing a teaching practicum (kind of like student teaching) in the Spring so I can officially have my teaching certification. However, I can't decide what grade I should go for if I do go down that route. I've passed the English Language teaching test for grades 4-8 and 8-12; some days I think I'd like the 4th/5th grade range better, and other days I think fondly of my days in Honors and AP English and think I should go the high school route. I'm still planning to take some online classes starting in October to give me some leverage f...

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hears and your minds in Christ Jesus.  My last post sounded unhappy and ungrateful. Too things that I'm not... but I do have moments of despair, and that was one of them. In a much better place today. And decided to re-read this passage, which has been my mantra since the day I lost my job. A great work of God is predicated by a humble attitude. And I have definitely been humbled. All I can do is pray, confess that I can't do it on my own, and completely surrender. So... I guess I just have to wait for that great work of God, huh? Any time, Lord. Any time. :)

Are you there, God? It's me... and I need to talk to You. I'm tired of pretending that I'm okay. Because, honestly, I'm not. I'm far from okay. I want to trust You so much... and I guess, deep down inside, I do. But I'm also scared. And so full of uncertainty. What is going to happen to me? What is this that You're doing to me? When will I find a second part-time job, or find a full-time job, and be able to no longer worry about how rent and other bills will get paid? When will I be able to hold my head up high and proudly tell people what I do, instead of trying to make "Right now, I work part-time at the YMCA" sound like my absolute dream when at times it feels like a nightmare? When will the shame of losing my job be left behind me? And when will I no longer feel this pit of despair inside me? When will my smile be real again? And when will I be able to enjoy life again? Are You there, God? It's me... and I'm so confused. I...