Dreams and Fears

I've started to think about them often--Beatrice and Scovia.

They are the two Esther Home Girls that are sponsored through IF: Gathering and who I'll get to meet when I'm in Rwanda in July.

I don't remember if I gave to the campaign that allowed their dreams to go to college possible, and so I've browsed through the small profiles/update we've been given, hoping to come up with gifts that can bring with me. Maybe a scarf? Or a set of my favorite colored pens?

Maybe those things would be too small, too trivial? I don't know.

And then I hear insecurity whisper: Maybe everything you have to offer will be too small, too trivial. Not just to the girls, but on the whole trip.

And I tremble with fear.

By nature, I am a pretty cautious person. I don't like to take risks, and any adventures I embark on are generally strongly vetted (or are only adventures because I finally decided to actually step outside my home).

But God has been nudging me to get out of my comfort zone a bit. Or maybe a lot. This is simply a continuation of my story, another step in the direction God is leading me.

And within the last four years, a lot of things I only dreamed about as a kid are starting to bud to life and become reality. And new dreams and passions are budding along side with those old ones.

And a lot of anxiety and fear buds, too.

What if I don't raise the money? What if it is a waste of money? What if I get sick? What if this isn't really what God wants from me? What if... what if... what if... what if I have nothing to truly offer?

I've been thankful to those who have come alongside me and encouraged me. Who have spoken life to me and help dispel these lies. And I'm thankful for the Bible and prayer. How they speak peace and bring comfort.

But it still is a daily (hourly?) battle with fear.

And so I think about Beatrice and Scovia. And how excited I am to meet them.

And how ultimately, I chose to surrender, to trust, to be obedient, which means I can't ignore the stirring that's in me.


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How to Financial Support Me on This Trip... 
Thank you very much for contributing to my service in Rwanda. I value your investment in our team as well as your prayers during our time in Rwanda. Below are two ways you can contribute financially:

• Mail checks made out to African New Life Ministries to the following address:
  Africa New Life Ministries
  Attn: Team Trips
  7145 SW Varns St. Ste. 201
  Portland, OR 97223
  It is also advisable to place my name on the back of the giving envelope.   (Please do not write my name anywhere on the check).
• Giving online through the website: Go to www.africanewlife.org
   Go to Donate in the upper middle of the home page.
  Under Giving Options, scroll down to Team Trip Donation and follow the directions through the process of online giving.
  You will then receive an email receipt for your donation. Reply to the email receipt and state that the donation is for a team member. i.e. ‘This donation is for Bunmi Ishola’s team trip.’

Africa New Life Ministries is a nonprofit 501c3 organization and all donations are tax deductible to the full extent of the law, so far as no goods or services were exchanged. You will receive a receipt recognizing your donation in January following the year of donation.