Faith, Hope, and Love

It's so easy for me to put things on the back burner in my life. Even if they are important to me. It's what I've done with playing the piano. Off and on lessons since I was six, a whole year of lessons in college, some months in grad school... and now I'm in group lessons. Am I any good? I wouldn't say so. Which is what frustrated me. And why it is easy for me to put practicing on the back burner. I mean, I'm never going to be a prodigy pianist and I'll probably never wow anyone with my skills with Tchaikovsky. But... I miss playing. Which is why I'm taking lessons again. And while my longing to play might stem from nostalgic memories of Mrs. Potter's home recitals, that longing is still there. Now that I'm taking classes again, I still probably don't practice as much as I should though. Having a roommate made me nervous to play and make mistakes in her presence. And even making mistakes on my own is frustrating and I feel angry and asham...

So, I had the morning off with full plans to be extremely productive. And have I been? ... not so much. First of all, I woke up with a bad stomachache, so I just laid around in bed for a while. I got a call in to work, and was a little grateful I had a legitimate reason not to come in.  I did however, choose not to go back to sleep and I guess I haven't been completely unproductive. I officially enrolled in an online class with Brookhaven College. A to Z Grant Writing. Hopefully this class will give me an edge on applying to grant writing positions with non-profits. I think I'd enjoy working in that environment--it'd be meaningful and rewarding. Not sure if I want to do it full-time, but I have noticed that a lot of places look for contract/freelance grant writers, who I guess they hire as needed. I also think I could use my grant writing skills not just for money, but for charity. I have a few friends who are running or trying to start non-profits, and I wouldn't m...

I am the ultimate slacker. Or at least, I think that I am. I've had so many plans and goals and ideas and projects... and haven't made a move on any of them. My excuse is that after running after a bunch of kids for four hours each day, I'm beyond exhausted to begin evening thinking  about anything besides taking a nap and vegging out in front of the TV. Today, for instance, I came home, watched the end of The Rookie , ate some left over pizza, finished reading "The Witch of Blackbird Pond" (first time, and a very good read!), and then proceeded to take five or six hour nap. Tomorrow was supposed to be my day off, and I envisioned I'd begin on something useful. But then I noticed missed calls on my phone, which turned out to be a co-worker wanting me to work for her tomorrow. So now I'm working form 1-5pm. And since I most likely won't even get out of bed before 9am... my day is shot. (Not really, but if I follow my current trend, nothing useful will...