Faith, Hope, and Love

Note: This post was written after my first trip to Rwanda in July 2015. For some reason, I never posted it. I returned to Rwanda in June 2017 and have been asked to share about my trip for church. The thoughts from this blog post continue to swirl in my head as I reflect on my time in that beautiful country, so I felt it was time to finally send these thoughts into the world!  I can't get the image of Nyamata out of my head. The church doors still have the hole from where grenades were thrown. The walls are filled with holes from bullets and stained from people's blood. Small rivulets of light flow in through the tin roof because of holes left from shrapnel. The cloth covering the altar is almost completely a reddish-brown color--not colored by age or the red dirt Rwanda is known for, but rather by the blood of its people. Around one million Rwandans were killed during the 1994 genocide. No place was safe. Not even the church. As we entered the church, it felt like you w...

So just before I left for this mission trip, I re-read and finished the Gallagher Girl series by Ally Carter (awesome author, by the way). So... I'm going to take a page out of Cammie Morgan's book and create a pro and con list for everything I've experienced so far and what I've been taking away from this mission trip (also the amazing sisterhood I've seen among the daughters of As Our Own kind of reminds me of the GG sisterhood... only this one is real and a lot more life-changing, in my opinion). While the approach might be a little tounge-in-check/silly, there are two things I want to point out: There are infinitely more pros than cons. Many of the cons are actually just pros in disguise. Writing both out is in a way recording the little and big joys and gifts of this trip. Whether pro or con, I've learned so much about me, God, my relationships with Him and others. I'm still processing, and I don't feel radically different right now, but I a...

As I mentioned in an earlier post , I'm totally playing catch-up on a lot of the resources the IF:Gathering has on their website (I bought their conference webcast stuff and still haven't sat down to watch any of it yet). While doing this, I fell upon this spoken word piece by Amena Brown Owen and Ann Voskamp .   Can I just say, "Window to my soul?" Fear that I'll never move past my past... That I'll never be perfect, that I'll never be worth it, that I'll never be enough... Tug of war between my fear and my calling... Fear is my chain... He is second chances... His love never runs out... His love is looking for me. So who would I be, if I wasn't afraid? Where ever He takes me, He is always the Comforter. To take the weight on my backs and offer it back to the Savior... that my life may be chiseled by his pen. Who would I be? And what would I do?

Over the course of fifty-five days, the IF:Gathering lead women through the book of John with their IF:Equip initiative. We read a passage from the Bible and then ask/answer these three questions: If this is true, then what does it say about God? About you? About the world? They end each reading with a video of some awesome ladies sharing their own thoughts about that particular passage. I did a horrible job keeping up with the readings. In general, I do a horrible job about having a consistent, meaningful time meditating on His word. Something I'm working on--I get e-mail devotions, I'm part of a Bible study group, I carry my Bible in my purse at all times--but I still suck at consistency. With that being said, IF:Equip has wrapped up the book of John and is now moving on to the book of Acts (which my church just finished walking through over the last two years. Might be interested to read through it again and listen to insight from a different perspectives). So, I d...

I grew up in the church. My dad was my very first pastor. He gave me my first Bible. He baptized me. Most of my childhood was spent living in (or very close) to a seminary and therefore between home and church, I was surrounded by other Christians. In fact, it probably wasn't until I hit high school that I had any close friends who didn't believe in Christ and didn't go to church every Sunday (and most likely on Wednesdays, too). I don't really remembered the day I definitely asked Christ into my life. Although, I do remember something about a 5,000 piece puzzle. Walking into our bedroom and watching sunlight filter onto the unfinished piece, illuminating it in a way I thought was beautiful. Somewhere in that moment, I knew. There definitely was a God and I wanted Him to make me just as beautiful. Whether that's a figment of my overactive imagination, or how I really came to "accept Christ," I really don't know. But I do know that over the yea...

It never fails that within a given week someone   seemingly has to ask me, "So... do you have a boyfriend?", "So who's the lucky man?" or something along that lines. It doesn't matter if we've been friends for ages and just haven't seen each other in a while, or you've just met me a few months, days or hours ago. It somehow always creeps up. And when I say, "No... No one..." with a sweet smile on my face, the answer is always a variation of three things: 1. "Don't worry, your own time will come soon." (Really? I wasn't worried until you said that , now I'm worried that something is the matter since "my time" hasn't come yet. Thanks.) 2. "Oh, why are you being picky? Or are you just waiting until you're sure ? (Actually, no one is even remotely interested in me. Or at least no one I'm aware of. Thanks for reminding me of that fact.) 3. "We've got to find someone for you!...